Monday, May 12, 2014

Unsolicited Advice’s BASHERS

Disclaimer: this is not an unsolicited advice.  There is a thin line between unsolicited advice and an opinion article.  That thin line is crossed from the latter to the former when you talked to the people themselves, be it on chat or in person, said this article yourself, and they’re not asking you for one.  Besides, granting that you felt this is an unsolicited advice, it is your option not to read things further, just like switching channels or turning off your TV. 


Unsolicited advice, basically, is an advice that was given to a person who is not asking for it in the first place.  No, I’ll not merely enumerate the reasons why people give unsolicited advice, although I read some (i.e, start a conversation, just being friendly, feeling of expertise).  You can read numerous articles on the internet.  I’ll also not bash or criticize people who give unsolicited advice.   After all, there are so many bashers and critics of this especially nowadays.  Just this morning, I browsed on the topic “unsolicited advice”, I clicked on one of the articles in that search engine.  That article alone produces, in one glance, around 7 more articles regarding the topic, and all of them shows dislike.  Cannot blame them, but at the same time, I sometimes empathize with people who give one.  Call me creepy or edgy or unpopular, but that is how I felt it.  


People who give unsolicited advice can be dealt with smoothly, and not IMMEDIATELY resorting to shutting someone up, blocking him or her from your list.  Unsolicited advice bashers, as I call it, are so many these days.  Maybe part of it is because their parents, guardians, people around them gave them so many advices, and they got fed up with being given one.  Because of this, I guess, when they had the chance and confidence to finally express themselves, they will cry “unsolicited advice”.  


Here are some of my scattered thoughts.  It’s up to you to take it or leave it or bash it.     

1)      If the unsolicited advice is light, it never hurts to say “thank you”.  Yeah, I know, especially smart ones don’t want to feed narcissistic people with compliments.  However, haven’t you thought that maybe lack of compliment and appreciation can also be the reason for certain narcissistic tendencies?  If the person is a true friend, he’ll like you more.  If the person is just your ardent critic, either you’ll win him or you gave him a pain in the neck because you’re not into his game.  Remember, if someone’s motives are shady, they’ll hate you for saying “thank you”.  If someone’s motives are noble or to the very least sincere, you earned a friend.  My point?  It’s not really all-you, it’s half-you and half-them if you know what I mean.              

2)      Not all people who give unsolicited advice perceived themselves as experts.  Yes, not all.  Sometimes, they just mentioned life as they learned it.  Now, if you are a truly smart person, you’ll discern unsolicited-advice-giving people who are just sharing, or just proving his dominance.

3)      If the unsolicited advice was given online or in a social networking site, you have the choice to ignore it.  People, if you have around 200+ friends in your social networking account, believe me, it will just be covered with one post after another.  You can also hide it.  If you have friends that really matter in your social network account, you’ll live the day not even seeing the post of your “unsolicited advice person”.  During the time that my wife and I are active in this social networking site, she never saw one of my posts.  She said that I was not hidden from her or blocked, and yet she never saw my posts.  Why?  Because she has thousands of friends in that account.     

4)      The truth shall set you free as they say it, but better be truthful to our own selves first why we felt irritated by unsolicited advice.  I never said that we must tell this admittance to them; it will make you vulnerable to manipulations by other people if you did just that.  My point here is that we should be honest in our selves WHY we hated certain unsolicited advice.  If we have identified the “why”, we can easily deal with the “how”.  If we keep on rationalizing our dislike and not admitting the real reason within ourselves, chances are, you’ll wrongfully deal with these kinds of people.  Unsolicited advice usually comes from people that you don’t endorse to give you one.

5)      Finally, be honest right from the start.  If you don’t like advice, say it ASAP.  If you’ll just be honest when you are irritated or angry, you’ll make a step that you will either regret.         


Maybe I am wrong in all points when I mentioned this.  However, what I am trying to say is that, annoying as these types of people are, there are other things we must be more angry, irritated than these annoyances.  In addition to that, what happened to the words “benefit of the doubt”?


This article is made as an alternate perspective.  Unpopular, but I hope it somehow made sense.

No comments: