In organizations, if I may call it, there are really people who call the shots. We call them CEO, the leader, the Big Boss, or the Boss. Whether we admit it or not, even in peers or circle of friends, there are really particular people in these circles who call the shots. Where shall we go or not go? Which out-of-town places will it be the next time around? Shall we ignore this person or not? Shall we make friends with this particular group of people or not? Now, I’ll go specifically to this question: is this situation, event, social dynamics big deal or not? The answers to these questions normally lie on a person that is unofficially their leader.
Is this wrong per se? I feel that I am not in authority to answer that question in a larger picture. However, what I know is that it is normal for some people to be blessed with charisma and leadership qualities that will make even their very own friends follow them. This is a gift actually, hence the word “charisma”. Having that gift of calling the shots do wonders, unite organizations, and even bind families to organize family or clan reunions. Well, by personal implication, it is not wrong per se. The problem lies when certain people intentionally or unintentionally began to feel they have the monopoly on what is a big deal or not.
A theology professor once shared to me a situation in which man has an ability to put a positive impression of his own self when he did a certain act, and a negative impression if other people did that very same act. For example, we see ourselves as a competitive person as manifested in certain actions, but if another person manifested those same actions, we, for some reason, consider that person as a sore loser or too proud to affect defeat or other terms. This is similar on what we are trying to mention: we tend to make what we feel and our negative reaction as big deal, and yet consider other’s rationale of their own negative reaction as just being either “sensitive” or “just a SMALL thing”. THIS, by the way, is still not wrong per se. There are really people who were trained either by experience or by education to view things almost clearly that they have the credibility in specific areas, including certain life experiences. Now, here is the negative tendency will come in: if these people already consider themselves, either intentionally or unintentionally, as that proverbial authority and others are just proverbial small timers. When that happens, it is PRIDE. Plain and simple. And pride goes before destruction, as the Bible says.
However, we must understand that we must not use imprecatory statement or prayer on people who act this way. Instead, as Christians, we must pray for these people…and our own selves as well. Why include our own selves? Maybe what they said is indeed a big deal, and we are saying are really just petty things. And circumstances and events will prove these things whether it is your words or his. If it is them, it’s up to them if they will remain in their stubbornness or finally realize things. If it is you, we must raise our hands in surrender and say, “we’re wrong”. In addition, this is easier said than done, but a good reminder: these things must be mentioned when you are deadlocked in this situation. However, this must be done with respect, regardless if he is your boss, your mother or father, your big sibling, or of the same level.
One’s “big deal” will only be considered a “big deal” when God’s Word (through the Bible), the events, and circumstances that God had given are crying out loud, saying, “it is a big deal”. When it’s not yet happening, let us just sit back and relax, and do the things that we ought to do as a responsible human being.
Besides, making a big deal out of those people who feel they have the say which one is a big deal makes you a person trying to make a big deal out of those people who feel they have the say which is a big deal. You’re borderline pathetic if you stick too much on that.