Wednesday, May 29, 2013

The May Chronicle (Part 3)

I admit that our relationship became physically hurting.  NO, I NEVER SLAPPED OR PUNCHED HER.  Yes, I pulled her…but because her behavior is becoming scandalous.  In other words, I literally pulled her out of the scene.  Oh well, maybe the ideal thing to do is just leave her cold much to her embarrassment, but, like I said, she has leverage.  She was psychologically and emotionally hurting me.  I allowed myself to be controlled by her.  I was controlled even to the point of convincing me to resign to teaching, my first love.  My preparation is teaching.  I got the job. Yes, not paying well, but sure is the job that I was prepared and was good in that.  When I resigned into teaching and went to our family business, the controlling becomes more apparent, as she usually calls up to go with her in this and that or I “needed” to be with her. 



After more than 2 years, I decided to give up the relationship, upon my Mom’s advice.  My plan is to mention it to her Pastor and his wife of my decision I m.  By the way, remember what I told you on making me look like a mean person in the eyes of her friends and even my church mates? It’s true.  I have that in mind.  However, the plan backfired.  She cried and revealed the fornication.  Her pastor, wanting to do it orderly and in the system (He’s a good, humble servant of God) brought these things to my Pastor.  The decision?  Marry the person plus public apology plus public apology.  My plea to solve this privately was not heard.  Yes, it was heard, but my Pastor persuaded me that it is better to do a public apology confession than do it.    In all of this, she did not want to face the crowd for a public apology and confession.  This is one of the indicators that she doesn’t have any sense of accountability even if she had a part in all of this.  We did the act consensually together, why shall I receive ALL the beating?  Still, in all of this, I retained my optimism.  I decided to go on this indirect shot gun marriage.  This is definitely a shotgun wedding; the only difference is that there is a church and the house rules were used as the shotguns. I thought things will go smoothly now that I agreed on marriage.  Unfortunately, not only did they.  Okay, outsider’s viewpoint will definitely say that they have the right to be very assertive.  It’s their daughter that was hurt.  Yes, “hurt”.  I agree with that outsider’s viewpoint.  This is a clever way of using the unwritten rules of society.  That’s also another example of dodging partial accountability and partial blame: she and her family used few informal logical fallacies (knowingly? Unknowingly? Subliminally?  I don’t know): appeal to poverty, and appeal to weakness.  It became worse than I imagined.  She and her family really dominated the decision making.  They asked for the wedding date; financially all by myself and with them draining my resources for quite some time (through their daughter’s pleading), I gave them 7 months because of drained resources.  They disagreed angrily.  THEY WANTED THE WEDDING IN 2 WEEKS!  They, especially his father, argue that since we enjoyed the deed, we must accept the consequence.   I never argued to him, although I can answer him by this: then let your daughter also suffer if we BOTH enjoyed it.  Still, I never argued, he had this notion that her daughter was helpless.

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