Monday, May 20, 2013

The May Chronicle (part 1)

Allow me to share this finally.  Yes, I know I have shared this verbally to people.  However, I want to write this.  I am not writing mainly to hit against anyone.  My life experience will attest that my confrontational approach only applies when in discussions, but, in normal life, I avoid confrontations, unless provoked (which also improved by the way).  I felt compelled to write this despite the good things that have happened to my life after hoping for readers to learn from me. Recent experiences and encounters make me see that people easily do two things: forget your good deeds and/or dispose it into oblivion (we call it revisionism).  We often hear of women being a martyr, being physically beaten, and being used up.  May this serve as enlightenment!  Call me stupid then, it is okay.  Call me bitter, unforgiving, it is okay.  Especially right now, I am aware of what I truly did and what I feel in all of this.  Besides, you’ll have your share of stupidity in your life, and chances are you will have a much better excuse than I do.  Forgive the poor chronology of this article as I am typing this on how I remember it. 
Exactly this month, years ago, I used to love someone.  After 2 years of convincing myself that things will go from bad to good, I decided to give up my ongoing relationship.  The usual cliché is “long story”.  Besides, our society dictates that guys should never write in details AGAINST their ex-girlfriends.  However, since my motive is for you to learn on different perspective, I’ll bend that “unwritten rule”.  I’m fed up of this one sidedness. 
I used to love the person as who I am.  This means in my imperfect, immature, BUT loving, generous self.  I put it that way in order to show you that I am a person of defects, but still knows how to love and pour out myself.  Whose fault is it you might ask?  I’ll not say only her, but definitely not only me.  Why the emphasis?  Just read on.
I decided to give it up because the situation is getting worse than before.  The fights.  The control freak attitude.  Later on, years after I left her, I discovered that even during the times that we’re together, she will say things behind my back.  That I am this jealous type of guy.  That I am mean.  I also learned that the very reason why no friends of her became my friends is because she’s depicting me as a mean person, and she depicted herself as a martyr.  Hence, no wonder why I was given a cold treatment every time I greet and smiled at them sincerely, because, I hate to say this, they were made to believe such lies.  There are some senses of truth in what she said to them, but the “add-ons” look so real it will pass as truth. 

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