Monday, September 12, 2011

Abjuration of Certain Acts of Circumvention

There are people who tend to use their brilliant minds just to get out of certain accountabilities or certain punishment. For generations, there are people who used their brain and good looks (if the person has one) just to evade accountability, or, in legal terms, avoid prosecution.

These people, one way or another, had victimized people through bullying, manipulation, power tripping, people-using, and gossips. Often times, it’s too late that the victims realized the situation. Worse, they ended up accepting the punishment or part of the punishment that these scoundrels should solely be accountable or should take part in the accountability. Where is the perpetrator? Scot free or hiding somewhere.

People around the victim of these people, even so called friends, will reprimand or rebuke the victim for being stupid, for allowing things like that to happen to him/her. The victim will be reminded to forget the past, forgive and avoid being bitter, and even give the victim guilt trips on that. The victims, dilutedbecause of misguided teachings on forgiveness, ended up more miserable because he or she didn’t follow a certain process or certain processes on forgiveness. Bluntly, they’re not helping. Since these kinds of people have established friendships (or pseudo-friendships), there are people who defended him/her, at the expense of the victims (it’s their freedom to also have friends anyway). Okay, it’s a general knowledge that we shouldnot be stupid. However, what happened to “not adding insult to the injury”?

Now, let me address this one by one to the people concerned…

To the perpetrator’s friends/loved ones, what if this happened to you? What if you were the ones hurt? Will you still have the guts to do things such as giving guilt trips and victim blaming? Will you still make the victims or their relatives or families suffer more just because you wanted to skip all the process leading to forgiveness? That’s sanctimonious! Or in plain language, acting like a good, devout person, but in reality, just avoiding hearing the true victim’s words. How about giving an apology, not because you’re wrong, but because you felt bad for the victims? Besides, face it, you may even know that the perpetrator is doing that or planning to do that on their victims/prey, yet because of your friendship, you shrugged it off. If you happened to be that person, you really, really have to apologize. Mark that word.

To the perpetrators: learn to accept accountability and consequences. Don’t let or allow others to suffer on actions that you are either solely accountable or partially accountable. You did something wrong, admit it, apologize to the victim, even if the victim rejected it (part of the consequence, chump). You are a very smart person. The fact that you have the capacity to manipulate and use people proves you have the gift. Why not use that gift to good use? Unless you’re a cold blooded psychopath or sociopath, you still have the heart to change for the better and not do it to other people. By accepting the painful walk to accountability, you may even go to the road called recovery.

To the victims: we have no choice, boys and girls. It’s normal that you wanted to make them feel the pain. However, let me just remind you about true forgiveness. Revenge should not be an option. By doing revenge, you ended up worse than the perpetrators. Go on. Be angry. Cry. It’s normal. However, let’s not indulge. Indulging in hatred will make those around you suffer, one way or another. No, don’t forced forgive someone; you’ll end up depressed. This is hard: try to empathize with the perpetrators. They have a history why they do the things they did to you. It will truly help. Move on, and move forward, but do it in your phase if you want.

To everyone: Still, in all of this, some of you might humorously say that the writer is “inspired” (may pinaghuhugatan at may pinatatamaan), making all the words mentioned discredited either by dismissing this or putting this as a joke.

Let’s say that this is “inspired”, let me ask this: am I ENTIRELY wrong? Isn’t it that it takes inspiration to write? If there’s even a single dot of sense in all of this, isn’t it unfair to dismiss this just because may pinaghugutan?

Yes, today’s article is passionately written, but still, yours truly know that it is still God’s prerogative who will truly be accountable on certain actions. We are in no position to question who will be punished or chastised by God or when it will happen. We only have an idea based on what the Bible is saying, BUT still, God has the upper hand. However, let us remind our own selves this thing: let’s be accountable if we did something wrong.

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