Monday, April 19, 2010

Manipulators and being manipulated part 1

Manipulators. They are everywhere. These types of people are in school, work, politics, and sad to say, church. Being manipulated at some point of your life doesn’t exempt you as a candidate of manipulative character.

How can manipulative people be traced? Is there a fool proof, text book way of knowing who they are? Sad to say, no. After all, manipulative people will try to act as if they’re not in the best way they can. Most of the time, you’ll find it too late that you were manipulated. Sad to say, at the end of the day, you’ll end up being blamed or blaming yourself. After all, manipulative people don’t have a sense of accountability.

What are the signs? Like I said, there’s no fool proof, text book way of knowing. However, personal experience, second person and third person accounts can be of good help. Still though, like I said, this is no textbook, these are just “experiential ideas” (if there’s no term like this, consider this term as invented), and some things to do. This is not fool proof. After all, manipulative people can be reading this and do something to make their crafts better. Still, I hope this is of good help.

(Note: the masculine pronouns that pertain to this topic [manipulative person] don’t indicate that ONLY GUYS ARE MANIPULATIVE. It is collective, manipulative people can be either male or female.)

1) Manipulative people wanted to take charge, one way or another. Yes, they’re usually in charge. No, I’m not talking about being in position. I’m talking about being in charge. Yes, you may have the position, but you will feel their presence. If you happen to be a leader and you have a partner who is dictating your leadership moves, you are being manipulated. Yes, you decided, but the manipulative person who disagrees will make you feel that your actions will cost you dearly. The divide-and-conquer person fits the profile of a manipulative person.

2) Manipulative person usually kindles egos. You are a dedicated Christian guy, and you wanted to stay virgin or abstained from sex until you get married. Here’s manipulative girl. She’ll say to you, “you’re not man enough” or “you’re gay”. She’ll force you to decide what you think is not the best decision (but only best for that manipulative person). If you’re unfazed, you’ll be given a statement that will definitely touch a man’s ego: “you have no bone”/”you’re not man enough” Don’t bite! After all, there are other ways that you can prove that you’re man enough, and doing uncalculated leadership decisions dictated by manipulative woman is not one of them. Women like that know how to get out without her being guilty about this. Sometimes, she can make you shoulder all the blame and receive the punishment (my personal experience is a proof of that). In this situation, at some point you might feel the guilt. Don’t let that guilt bother you very much.

3) Manipulative person will definitely avoid accountabilities. Yes, they are. They’ll make other people accountable for their actions. The hard part is, the person being blamed was also manipulated to do the action. I believe some convicts were just manipulated to do the action. Still though, they’re in jail because they’ve done the deed, and the manipulative person is scot-free.

(To be continued)

No comments: