Tuesday, March 10, 2009

My persecutor...now my admirer?!

Modesty aside, I got information that someone have a crush on me…in the Old Church. No, I didn’t ask. It was told to me. As a respect, I didn’t ask who the person is. However, as weeks go by, the curious me figure it out. Still, I didn’t figure out who the person is (well, because the one who told me gave me a wrong piece of information. Thus, wrong information means wrong conclusions). Then, one relentlessly told me who the person is. When I found out who the person is, I was surprised. No, she’s not ugly. She’s one of the prettiest faces in the Old Church. In fact, she’s prettier these days. No, not her. No way. Yes, yes, I’m not the best looking guy, not even in the Old Church. I admit that I’m quite difficult to handle, especially if you’re ego-driven, have superiority complex, traits similar to that.
Now, when I found out that it was her, it was a mixed emotion. I am surprised. Surprised because when I used to be a youth leader I can’t even strike a conversation with her because of her “walled” personality (if someone already “tore down the wall”, good. I don’t have time chasing people, especially if you’re no longer a teenager). I laughed because after all the things that she said to me two to three years ago…she had a crush on me NOW? Ultimately, it hit me again: memories.
During my excommunication years, she’s the one who bluntly said to me, “make a public apology first before you call me ‘sister’.” (Man, how about what she did years ago? It was GRACEFUL EXIT. If you’re diligent enough, read my blogs. You’ll know why she’s given graceful exit). A year after, I confronted her regarding this, that it’s not the Biblical way to treat an excommunicated person. You know what? She responded by saying, “…past is past. PERIOD…” Thanks for the encouragement, SISTER. Yeah, yeah, those who know her and close her MAY dismiss that attitude as “childish/immature/naïve” (Nice. I just wish there will be people inside the Old Church who can also defend me and “sugar coat” me). Give me a real break!
Now fast forward 2009. I got that news. No, don’t get me wrong. I appreciate compliments. I myself am generous with smiles and compliments. It’s just that I find it funny. Why? Let’s rewind. I can still recall when I gave her flowers on her birthday as a friendly gift. A youth member later told me that she just gave my gift to another single lady, ALL OF THE FLOWERS. I just told the youth member to ignore that. Still though, her action gave a lasting impression. From that point on, I didn’t bother to give her gifts. Another one, I asked her humorously what is my positive trait as a youth leader, she answered bluntly, “NONE”, then, she laughed. Then, 2008, I was excommunicated. Maybe blame it in her being childish? Her being “naïve”? Envy is a sin, but I committed it anyway. She’s a college graduate for crying out loud.
On a lighter note, I wonder why that girl has a crush on me. We’re not even striking a serious conversation (serious meaning quite lengthy, a piece of you was left in her vice versa, I know you understand what I’m trying to say here).
What shall I do with that? Nothing. What shall I do to her? Of course, I will not take advantage. I don’t like doing that. Besides, I don’t want another scandal. After all, no one will sugar coat for me. What shall I do to her then? Still the same old banana: be a nice guy to her, just like I do to other girls in the Old Church. However, when people ask me about her, I will not hesitate to answer, but I know that will never happen. BASED ON MY EXPERIENCE, ONLY FEW OLD CHURCH PEOPLE DARE ASK ME QUESTIONS REGARDING MYSELF.
That girl is pretty. I just hope and pray that she may realize some things. I maybe childish, but I try to listen and improve. I hope and pray she does the same. Not all the time there will people who will defend and sugar coat her to others.
Fellow brethren, forgive me for speaking these words today.

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