Monday, February 25, 2008

update on project study

I think it is not mathematically possible that I can submit my final, hard bound project study at the said date (March 8). The survey questionnaires are still out there. I’ll pick it up this week. Oh well, I did my best. However, will I slow my pace because of the predicament? No. After the survey questionnaires, I will immediately look for statisticians that will do the stats as quick as possible. Once I received the stats, I will immediately do chapters 4 and 5. You know the rest. I said to a friend that in case I didn’t make it on the March 8, all I can do is submit the project study and file for a completion. No, I’ll not slow down with my project study. I admit: it will take a miracle if I submitted this one on March 8. You know what? I believe in miracles.

There are researchers (some are even Christians) who don’t recognize divine intervention in their research. The fact that most, if not all, of the respondents will return the questionnaires is an act of faith. Personally, when I gave the letter of request to the division office, I entrusted it to God. Entrusted what? I trusted God that He will speak to these people that they will grant my request ASAP. It did. In fact, the secretary of the division superintendent told me that her boss granted the request at that same day that I requested it (I went to the office morning. The superintendent granted the request at the afternoon). Same thing goes to the survey questionnaires that I have given to my respondents (the subject heads). I put my trust in God that He’ll speak to the respondent/schools to finish the survey questionnaire ASAP. If the respondents didn’t return them ASAP, I believe it is the will of God. After all, tomorrow, I’m planning to call these schools to conduct a follow-up. If the respondents didn’t return them ASAP despite of my follow-up, I can finally say that it is not the will of God. It is my top request to God as of this moment that He allows me to finish the project study on March 8. It will make me sad if I didn’t make it. However, if that happens, I will just accept God’s will on this case. He has a purpose if that happens. For now, all I can do is pray for the respondents to answer the questionnaires ASAP.

Today is EDSA 1 Day. Thus, it is a holiday. No work, no classes. Like others, I will hang out with close friends after I typed this. Like others, I have some random thinking and typing. Here they are:

I just saw the news that Fidel Castro, after leading Cuba for 49 years (almost 50 years), finally stepped down as its President. Raul, his brother, succeeded him. The “election” of Raul was quite a subject worth talking for Politics and Governance professors and enthusiasts. First, he is Fidel Castro’s brother. It’s a dynasty. One thing that I admire with Fidel Castro is how he stayed in political power for that long (even if Raul is there, as long as Fidel is alive, his influence is there). How did he make a hold of his constituents? Kim Jong Il of North Korea is also another, but that is another story. Castro’s an intelligent person. When he’s facing an economic crisis, he made friends with Hugo Chavez, president of Venezuela, an oil-rich Country (are you getting the picture?). According to what I have heard, the US, through CIA, is planning to assassinate him, just for him to stop leading Cuba. Based on what I have heard, Castro outsmarted them. Smart guy.

I believe in good legacies, but I also believe that a human being, once in politics, should have limited terms. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Even if you’re the most kind, loving, generous, just, upright human being in the world, I still believe that absolute political power will corrupt him.

I don’t believe in revolution. I have said this in my posts quite a number of times. Moses leading the people to Promised Land from Egypt is a different story (it is a direct word from God that they must go back to Canaan). Now, these two revolutions, EDSA 1 and EDSA 2, are acts of God. Great. Using God’s name in vain. Not only did they rebel, but they also blaspheme God. (Oh well, I can’t believe that God WANTS a nation to rebel against their political leader. In fact, He Himself dislikes rebellion. Look at the Bible. He immediately punishes rebels.) President Ferdinand Marcos being dead because of an illness is indeed an act of God. However, these revolutions? Well, these are ALLOWED by God to serve HIS BETTER PURPOSE, but that doesn’t mean EDSA 1 and 2 are both right. It’s a like a greedy person. God allowed a thief to steal his possessions so that it will serve as a lesson for his greediness. However, that doesn’t mean stealing is right. The thief will be dealt by God accordingly. When EDSA 2 happened, I was quite sad because I felt that this will cause more unrest in years to come. It did.

Oh well, so much for random entries, I’ll stop there. Have a nice day today.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Predicament of my project study paper

According to the written announcement that was posted in my chairman’s office, the deadline for the submission of the final copy of the project study is March 8. In other words, ALL things pertaining to the project study should be finished on March 8.

As of this writing, it’s February 7, Thursday. I have 30 more days. I’m still on the validation process of my survey questionnaires. The delays are because of 2 days of flu, one week of going to and fro asking for help how to reconstruct the copied surveys (to avoid being accused of plagiarism). Those 2 weeks also include waiting for an email to the one who owned one of the 3 questionnaires. She replied 4 days after my email. To my surprise, she is one of the Department Chairpersons in Texas Tech University! Good thing I’ve been respectful when I emailed her. According to my chairman, it’s a good thing that she replied to me and allowed to use her survey. Others don’t reply at all. I still need to go in a City School Division in which the survey will be conducted. It will take at least 2 days before it will be approved. Then, I’ll spend at least 1 week to survey all of the respondent schools. Then, I’ll pay the service of a statistician for a quick result (at least 2 to 4 days, including the SPSS and the statistician himself/herself, not to mention how much the statistician’s fee and the SPSS fee will cost).

Honestly, reading the above predicament 30 days is not a comfortable day. On February 17, the YPF in the new church will have its Love, Courtship, and Marriage hour. Before February 22, I should have submitted my artwork in the Baptist artist group that I recently joined. Now that adds to the pressure.

Honestly, I can just give up on the project study and focus my energy on the YPF activity and the February 22 art submission. After all, if I’ll be given an incomplete grade, I can just submit my requirement, file for completion, and file for an October 2008 graduation instead. That’s the easy way out. I didn’t do just that. I want to try if there is a possibility to finish the project study paper, despite the odds. Maybe it’s not quite feasible, but I took the risk anyway. If ever I didn’t make it, it’s okay. I just don’t want to give up. If ever I didn’t make it, at least I did my best. I may have “lose”, but I can say with confidence that I did my best.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Age Freaks

I have a fever today. Well, despite of that, I went to work. Actually, yesterday (Sunday), I already have a fever. However, I still attended all of the services. Besides, the youngsters need some sort of good example, although I didn’t tell them that I’m quite sick.

I hope this will be gone tomorrow morning.

There are really people who will not make friends with you on the ground that they find it awkward to make friends with younger ones. I just met this lady in the school in which I was formerly connected. Yes, she’s nice and quite pretty, but she nicely said that she finds it awkward making friends with younger guys. It’s no wonder that she’s always on the hurry every time I dropped by in their department. I told her that she should take the opportunity. I told her that not all the time you’ll be approached and befriended. I said those words in a humorous manner. She’s 34; I’m 27. She’s not married.

Years ago, when I’m in my early 20’s, every time I approach a lady older than I am (I didn’t approach them because they are older than I am; I approached them because it’s a spontaneous thing. Malay ko bang mas matanda sila sa akin? Heheheheh), they will say things similar to this: “I’m ___________ (mentions her age), you’re younger than I am…kid.” During those times, I said to myself, “Maybe when I grow older, I’ll have the same superiority complex.” Then, years later, voila! The game is still the same. Thus, it came to a point that when a woman bragged with her age, I told her, “sige…manang”. No, don’t give me that rebuke yet, Gabriella Silangs. Since she bragged about her age, I’m implicating what comes with age. If woman older than I am calls me “bata (kid)”, then I’ll call them “manang (old woman)”. Hehehehe. It’s sarcastic, I know.

When it comes in making friends, even developing close friendship, I don’t brag about my age and, well, experience (do I have one?). I only do that when “junior” or “kid sister” starts to pull you down to the point of insult, which is quite rare. I can’t forget my former leader in the young people back in the old church who eventually became my assistant leader. He got married at around 40. Man, he’s really a nice man. He makes friends with his contemporaries, talk about career, long term stuff. Then, he makes friends with my generation like he’s one of us. Wow. The last news was he went abroad. By the way, his wife is only about 2 years older than I am.

Rhetorically asking, why do women brag on their age, but find it quite insulted once their age was hurled back to them? Okay, there are justifications regarding this. Usually, when you don’t like a person, you’ll do anything just for the person to get out of her way. They want to turn down the person (not their type or they don’t like him at all) but at the same time don’t want to be called mean or nasty or “maldita”. After all, rejecting a guy bluntly will make a villainess out of her from both gender’s viewpoint. Well, I understand. Ladies often do that to protect themselves. Maybe they have bad experiences in life. Or maybe they experienced oppressions, hardships, and discriminations early in life. Maybe they accumulated so much wisdom more than younger people do because of those experiences. It’s well understood.

However, does that mean I have the right to just be mean to woman because woman is the reason why I was kicked out in the church and is not yet allowed to go back? Does that also mean that I have the right to generalize women because there were women that went to my life who just lied and took me for granted? Does that mean I will no longer trust womankind because a woman once made friends with me, and at the end, she revealed that she’s married and she apologized for her lies. Of course, especially if you ask a lady with this question, the answer is “NO. MOVE ON.” Thus, I answer the same. Move on, ladies. Men may have common denominators, common tendencies. I also said likewise with women.

Now, about this so-called age discrimination, well that’s the perks of old, experienced people (especially woman…why did I say so? I encountered more than 10 women with that same incident that I have recently): they tend not to make friends with younger ones because of their vast experiences. Maybe 10 or even 5 years from now, I may act like that also (it depends). It’s pride. That is pride kicking in their system. Period. You may have more wisdom, but you have that pride. Pride, by the way, leads to destruction.

I also don’t like it when people brag their rags to riches story or they brag that they are poor (and “I didn’t experience to be one”). Let me tell you this: not all so called “rich kids” are boasters, egoistic, full-of-themselves. And not all so called “poor guys” are humble. Yeah right. It’s like saying, “I am tougher than you are…kid”. Yes, you may have the experience. However, experience without humility will just bring you down. Like I said, it’s pride when a person doesn’t want to make friends with someone younger than they are. Okay, maybe your reason is this: “I want to be surrounded myself with mature people”. I’ll buy that. However, what does maturity mean? I don’t know, but you call someone childish if you hate him.

Another indirect justification for that behavior is this: I want to be surrounded with people that have sense. I also buy that. However, does that mean the younger people are senseless? Does that mean majority of the Filipino population is senseless (majority of Filipinos are youth)? Come on, age freak ladies. You just don’t like younger guys making friends with you. Period. No justification. No rationalizing.

Ladies, please expand your horizon by being friends with someone younger than you. No, I don’t say to just be naïve. After all, if you say you are mature, you know how to discriminate things, right? Don’t be afraid of the risk of being disappointed with people. After all, we are not perfect. Yes, there are perks making friends with younger guys, like we don’t “grow old” or we act like boys instead of acting like men. Come on, you can’t have perfect package when it comes to friendship.