Tuesday, July 8, 2008

objectivity effect, like a boomerang...and generalizing

A youngster told me that I’m bitter every time I answer surveys being given by friends at Friendster (via bulletin). According to her, it shows when I answer questions on specific topics. I took it as a reminder. Then, when I answer another survey, she gave me a message, saying that it’s still a bit bitter. Again, I took it as a reminder and not as an insult. This same youngster, when I shared to her my past, she say things as if she’s preaching to me. I still can’t forget how she reminded me about fornication. Her approach is more of an objective type, ala Gregory House. By the looks of it, she’s doing an objective approach. Again, I accepted. Why? As a Christian youth leader, I must still be teachable enough and listen to suggestions and reminders, regardless of their age and how they deliver it. Besides, the youngster had a point. Although I don’t talk like that to my leaders back then.

Then, something happened. She found out that her guy best friend committed the same mistake I did in the past. She defended her best friend. At the end, she ended up being blamed by the other party. I don’t want to brush into details, but I can feel her anger and bitterness because of what had happened. Now, her best friend was at that same predicament, will she be as preachy and as objective as she usually is? Yes, it still can be, but maybe with some softness in tones.

No, I don’t have any thing against that youngster. In fact, I like that youngster. However, this is the fact of life: when you rebuke, expect that the same rebuke will come back to haunt you. “…and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.” (Matthew 7:2) The youngster humorously rebuked my being bitter and what I did in the past, now that very same predicament happened to her, and her best friend. I just hope that she’s getting the message of that experience. However, if not for her best friend’s short coming, she may have not realize in a more personal manner that fornication can happen even to the nicest, not your usual suspects around, like me (a usual suspect?heheheh). Hehehehe. In counseling, always think that any pain, any human weakness can happen to any human being, even Christians.

However, I do hope and pray that she can overcome her bitterness. I
I have to say this: in general terms, I am not a woman hater. The idea just crossed my mind when someone told me that I have woman issues. I’m not. In fact, the closest friend right now is a sweet girl. The one who is giving her help in my comics (editorial aspect) is a lady school mate. And in case I do, I’m praying and doing my best to let go of hatred. Big bro and I grew up basically with our mom. My aunts, paternal grandma good take care of me. I have lady cousins I like hanging out with. I have more girl friends than guy friends (because I have more lady classmates).

One thing that I hate though is woman blaming the men as if we are the most-wicked species ever. Okay, maybe you will react or will not care. Hehehehehe. I admit that one of the reasons why I share that part of my life is not to practice bitterness and self pity. I’m telling that part of my life so that if there are women who are vocally bitter with men, they still have a choice to overcome their bitterness. Weird? Senseless? Immature? Childish? Let me explain in this manner: yeah, you have your reasons to hate men because of your own experience, so do I with women. Yet, I chose to befriend women to the point of being sweet to them. Why? I chose not to rule with “woman hating”. Why? I still believe that there’s still good gals around. So, pleeeeeeease girls, don’t generalize men. Your kind has bad breeds too (and good ones too, that’s the point). Your kind is not perfect the way men are not also perfect. You don’t believe me, do you? Maybe you don’t even care. That’s the last straw to hit someone’s opinion – you’ll say that you don’t care. Oh well, I don’t expect you to believe today’s post and even care with my opinion. (My circle of friends is composed more of female populace than dudes, partially because of my course and faith, I hope that alone will explain that I’m not a woman hater).

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