Our youth ministry was put into suspension. In fact, all of the ministries in the new church are suspended, except song leading and preaching. The source of the problem? Fornication. Now, here’s the story, and I hope that I can make this a brief one.
The new church pastor has a right hand guy. Quite good looking. Same age as I am. Single. He’s an eligible bachelor indeed. There’s this girl. She’s one of my youth members. Honestly, she’s the prettiest and the tallest youngster in the new church. She’s a college student.
This lady youngster usually gives me text message. However, what I notice is that she’s holding a sort of “dual personality”. She “speaks” so loud at text messages, yet inside the church, she doesn’t talk much. The softness of her voice, I felt, is not real. I admit, she’s not friendly, and in fact, she’s snobbish. Still, like a true blue Christian youth leader, I never jumped into conclusion. I didn’t entertain any negative thought about her, or else, you’ll be given the most famous quote from the Bible being used by those who were being accused: Matthew 7:1.
Then, she shares something (via text message, for she never shares something outside text message) that caught my attention for quite sometime. She told me that her boyfriend is Mr. Right Hand Guy. However, I’m just wondering why they’re not talking to each other in the church. Mr. Right Hand Guy is eligible to have a partner…even a wife! I assumed that maybe Ms. Youngster is not allowed to have a boyfriend. Still, this thought keeps on popping, “Mr. Right Hand Guy is a person trained in one of the strictest Bible colleges that I know. He knows the procedure ‘tell the Pastor first before you will court someone’. He was trained into that. Why he didn’t tell a single soul about this?” Besides, inside the church, you’ll not see them talking. Then, she shared that she committed fornication with him. She told me that it should be a secret. Thus, I never told a soul, not even New Church Pastor. I thought that it is easy. Then, she begins to text that she hates someone: the church pianist (who is also youth member). She hates her because she felt jealous. Well, it is normal to be jealous, I said to myself, but I notice her jealousy is quite an immature one. She’s jealous to the point that she’s demanding me (yes, that’s the word) not to put her and the lady pianist in the same group. Still, I didn’t entertain that attitude of hers. Then, I notice that every time I see her and shake hands with her, I felt “something heavy”. I felt like someone’s pounding me hard every time I look at her. Then, Pastor begins to notice that lady pianist and ms. Youngster is not talking to each other. I tried to invite Mr. Right Hand Guy in a restaurant so that I can open up something. He always declined because he’s going to this and that. Then, I asked him through text if he has a girlfriend. He answered he doesn’t have one. Then, my suspicion begins. Who’s lying? Who’s telling the truth? If guy is telling the truth, then, girl is lying or vice versa. Basically, that’s the way I think of it. Fast forward 3 weeks ago. I asked Ms. Pianist if she knows something. To my surprise, she has all the text evidence. Okay, I know this is quite lengthy, but to sum it up, if we say that if Ms. Pianist is right, the following is also true:
1) The fornication is real, but it is Ms. Youngster who seduced Mr. Right Hand Guy (according to Ms. Pianist, Ms. Youngster gives Mr. RHG with sexually provoking text messages, which I personally see).
2) Ms. Youngster is lying that she said that her boyfriend is Mr. RHG
Okay, then, the unthinkable happened: Ms. Pianist begins to type hate blog posts against Ms. Y. I told her to take it easy. To cut it short, they begin cursing through text.
Now, fast forward, her mom found out what Ms. Pianist told to her. Then, her mom goes angry, threatening not to move out of the New Church.
Thus, Pastor decided to suspend all the ministries until the commotions and angry moods are all gone. The ministry includes the Youth Ministry.
I’m not vocal in my personal opinion, regarding this. Why? Here it goes:
1) I believe that Ms. Y really tempted Mr. RHG, not the other way around.
2) Ms. Y didn’t follow my instructions. I told her to keep her guard and keep her head calm before making any drastic move. She didn’t do it. There is one incident that her mom goes angry. The reason? She didn’t follow my advice. No, she never took any of my advice. Then, she’ll wonder why this is happening to her?
3) Ms. Y used to text me with sweet text message…like I LOVE YOU…and MWAH…I ignored those text messages, thinking it is just typical infatuation. One time, I talked to her (her father stands beside her), “hey there, I’m sorry I didn’t give you a reply on your text last night.” She answered, “what text?” I ignored that for awhile. When I arrived home, she texted me, “sorry, my dad’s strict.” She denied that simple question.
4) One time, my best friend went to the New Church because I invited him. After the service, he said, “best friend, you have a girlfriend.” I answered, “no, if I have one, I should have introduced you to her right from the start. Why?” He said, “Ms. Y said this one: ‘so, you’re my boyfriend’s best friend’.”
5) She’s snobbish in the church, yet talkative on text. It shows that she’s not being true both inside the church and her home. I don’t like that kind of person.
6) How come that her mom saw her text messages? That means she showed it. Okay, maybe I judged too soon, but here’s another question: how come her mom saw her text, but denied mine (look at number 3) while her father’s standing next to her?
7) Why is she afraid that I asked Mr. RHG? After all, I never revealed our secrets to anyone in the church (after all, I’m a youth leader). The only reason why I spoke out is because Pastor decided to suspend all the ministries, and Pastor had heard both sides.
If my opinion is right, Ms. Y is manipulating the situation. She made it appear that she’s the one who was invited by Mr. RHG, not the other way around. However, her text message that was given to me says otherwise. That’s the reason why I’m not vocal on my opinions regarding this one: I don’t believe Ms. Y. The only truth she told me is the fornication issue. Humanly speaking, you can’t help but be with Ms, Pianist’s side: she’s quite teachable, unlike Ms. Y. She’s not as stubborn as Ms. Y.
Still though, Ms. Pianist is wrong:
1) She gives curse words to Ms. Y, which is not right for a Christian to do so.
2) Why is she defending Mr. RHG so much?
3) I assume that her words and actions against Ms. Y is driven with hate to her (they have previous disagreements) and well, possible admiration (she likes him) to Mr. RHG.
4) She should just be a listening ear to both sides, not join them.
Mr. RHG is also wrong because he committed fornication. He allowed himself to be tempted. Still, fornication affects not only one person, or two persons (in this case, Ms. Y). Sin affects the whole body of Christ. In fact, every little sin that a believer does affect the whole local church, one way or another. Oh well, I told him that take everything that is happening now as a consequence.
I posted this here because no one in the new church knows this blog site (unless someone who hates me squeals this one). I shared this as a learning experience and at the same time, voice out my real opinion on that matter. Like I said, this is a learning experience. Every sin that a believer does affects the body of Christ, the church.
I hope and pray that this problem will be solved. Ms. Y told me that she was sorry that because of her, even the Youth Ministry was suspended. At that time, I thought, “maybe you thought that it is only Ms. Pianist who will be affected once your mother found out? Well, take a look. All ministries are suspended. Are you happy now?” Still though, I held my peace. It would be unwise to speak like that. After all, not only fornication, hatred, and divisiveness are the sins involved here. There are also lying and manipulation, the most difficult sins to confront without being dirty.
I hope and pray that things will finally be alright. Thank you so much for reading this. You’ve been an online “listener”.