Thursday, March 27, 2008

Missing the Old Church

I miss the old church. The church I grew up. The church, through its Christian school, educated me until high school. It was in the Old Church where I learned some a few aspects on leadership (with Adamson University gave me the big leadership break). The church in which without them, I would have not known that I’m a sinner that needs salvation. It was November, 1992, when I received Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.It was in the Old Church in which I learned how to be friendly (through their endorsed Youth Camps and Youth Conventions though). Most of the people that I met (though it showed that only few can be considered true friends) and I grew up with are from the Old Church. It was in the Old Church when I first have my first church preaching. Although I first preached behind the pulpit in one of the Old Church’s mission, without the “Old Church connection”, I will not be given a break. I will not be acquainted with the mission men and women if not for the Old Church. However, what I miss MORE are the Baptist missions established by the Old Church. I remember the time that I was suspended because of a break-up (which is consensual, by the way, however, because of my position, I was suspended immediately). A preacher (who now works in a secular firm) invited me to help them. I breezed through that suspension because God used the Old Church mission. There are some “jokes” on why I like going to mission churches: 1) I can make my “layboy” ways there, 2) I will be more popular there. I got used to those two assumptions, and I consider them as jokes (jokes that are not half-meant, but pieces of junk, not helpful to your growth as a Christian and as individual). I just shrug off the rumors, as thinking of those statements will not help me. I don’t know, but the “mission atmosphere” is quite fulfilling for me every time I’m given a chance to participate. I don’t know if I will ever reach the efforts that our Baptist and Christian forefathers made (I doubt), but my heart is on the missions. The old church people, particularly my former youth director and an elementary school mentor, wanted me to join the Christian school (because of my educational background). Trying to be as obedient as possible, I obeyed. However, my heart is helping missionaries in an actual manner, not just the offering (although I salute the people who financially supports Baptist mission. I pray that God blesses them). I was asked by Mom and a former teacher from the Old Church academy if I still want to go back. I usually answer, “it depends on the church’s decision.” Don’t get me wrong. That’s not pride. It’s just a fact. The Old Church Pastor told me to stay put in the New Church. After all, my ex-girlfriend, according to her mother, is not ready for me to go back (during those times and now, she has a boyfriend, and she, or they, can say things like that?).Mom, though she doesn’t like my decision of going back to the old church (if they will finally allow me), understood the reason. I have explained to her that it’s because of principle. My Kuya is not in favor with my decision. He said it will just hurt me. It will just distract me from serving God. The rejection from my ex’s sympathizers is inevitable. The way people will look at me will generally be not the same as before. There is also a possibility of not being a youth leader again, or being given a responsibility related to youngsters 13 and above.Frankly, Kuya has his point. In fact, there is a high probability that what he’s saying will be true. It’s true. My ex has a share of sympathizers, even single ladies sympathizers (which lowers my chance of having a relationship and marrying a Baptist girl THERE EVEN MORE). There are single ladies who don’t sympathize with her, but will rather not sympathize with me (which I understand). Why shall I still go back despite the high risk of stereotyping, rejection, and any negative stuff that will make me look so bad, or soooooooooooooo backslidden? Well, it’s about principle. Grown ups face their own responsibility (I still believe there are other options to be a responsible guy rather than marriage. After all, I have not raped the girl, it’s consensual). I am accountable and responsible for my actions. Going back to the Old Church will give the rumor mongers and my critics no more justification for whatever stuff they will say against me. Their wrong attitude towards me will always be there, but God will take of it more than ever this time (for I have made my efforts and follow the old church system). In fact, I can now bluntly say, “YOUR ATTITUDE IS DEAD WRONG”. Besides, going back to the Old Church (when I’ll finally be allowed) can be considered a “real man’s act”. I miss the old church, despite of some nasty people there. I am not bitter with the rules. Churches need rules (from the Bible) for order and protection. I am not bitter with Old Church Pastor. I am not bitter with the Deacons. They were in a predicament. Besides, they never have the chance of hearing my side. They had no choice, but to do the decision. I am not bitter to the youngsters who have been under me, for some was not given the luxury of access TO A FAIR INFORMATION. Oh well, if I will not be given any ministry (especially that deals with teenagers above) after a year or two (or even three), I’ll just focus myself on my business and law school (if time and money permits). I’ll still attend church actively. I’ll still read the Bible the same. I’ll follow the youth leaders, even if they’re younger than I am. I’ll try my best not to be late or absent, just like in the new church. For the mean time, I’ll use that vacant 2-3 years in pouring my energy out in our family business, and Law School.I miss the old church. I hope and pray that I can finally be allowed. I just hope and pray that God speaks to the hearts of my ex-girlfriend and her mother, and the Old Church Pastor. After all, like I always say, I have always expressed my desire to go back. It’s ALL OLD CHURCH now. Not me. (No pride, bitterness, and rebellion here. Just following logic.)

No comments: