Monday, February 4, 2008

Age Freaks

I have a fever today. Well, despite of that, I went to work. Actually, yesterday (Sunday), I already have a fever. However, I still attended all of the services. Besides, the youngsters need some sort of good example, although I didn’t tell them that I’m quite sick.

I hope this will be gone tomorrow morning.

There are really people who will not make friends with you on the ground that they find it awkward to make friends with younger ones. I just met this lady in the school in which I was formerly connected. Yes, she’s nice and quite pretty, but she nicely said that she finds it awkward making friends with younger guys. It’s no wonder that she’s always on the hurry every time I dropped by in their department. I told her that she should take the opportunity. I told her that not all the time you’ll be approached and befriended. I said those words in a humorous manner. She’s 34; I’m 27. She’s not married.

Years ago, when I’m in my early 20’s, every time I approach a lady older than I am (I didn’t approach them because they are older than I am; I approached them because it’s a spontaneous thing. Malay ko bang mas matanda sila sa akin? Heheheheh), they will say things similar to this: “I’m ___________ (mentions her age), you’re younger than I am…kid.” During those times, I said to myself, “Maybe when I grow older, I’ll have the same superiority complex.” Then, years later, voila! The game is still the same. Thus, it came to a point that when a woman bragged with her age, I told her, “sige…manang”. No, don’t give me that rebuke yet, Gabriella Silangs. Since she bragged about her age, I’m implicating what comes with age. If woman older than I am calls me “bata (kid)”, then I’ll call them “manang (old woman)”. Hehehehe. It’s sarcastic, I know.

When it comes in making friends, even developing close friendship, I don’t brag about my age and, well, experience (do I have one?). I only do that when “junior” or “kid sister” starts to pull you down to the point of insult, which is quite rare. I can’t forget my former leader in the young people back in the old church who eventually became my assistant leader. He got married at around 40. Man, he’s really a nice man. He makes friends with his contemporaries, talk about career, long term stuff. Then, he makes friends with my generation like he’s one of us. Wow. The last news was he went abroad. By the way, his wife is only about 2 years older than I am.

Rhetorically asking, why do women brag on their age, but find it quite insulted once their age was hurled back to them? Okay, there are justifications regarding this. Usually, when you don’t like a person, you’ll do anything just for the person to get out of her way. They want to turn down the person (not their type or they don’t like him at all) but at the same time don’t want to be called mean or nasty or “maldita”. After all, rejecting a guy bluntly will make a villainess out of her from both gender’s viewpoint. Well, I understand. Ladies often do that to protect themselves. Maybe they have bad experiences in life. Or maybe they experienced oppressions, hardships, and discriminations early in life. Maybe they accumulated so much wisdom more than younger people do because of those experiences. It’s well understood.

However, does that mean I have the right to just be mean to woman because woman is the reason why I was kicked out in the church and is not yet allowed to go back? Does that also mean that I have the right to generalize women because there were women that went to my life who just lied and took me for granted? Does that mean I will no longer trust womankind because a woman once made friends with me, and at the end, she revealed that she’s married and she apologized for her lies. Of course, especially if you ask a lady with this question, the answer is “NO. MOVE ON.” Thus, I answer the same. Move on, ladies. Men may have common denominators, common tendencies. I also said likewise with women.

Now, about this so-called age discrimination, well that’s the perks of old, experienced people (especially woman…why did I say so? I encountered more than 10 women with that same incident that I have recently): they tend not to make friends with younger ones because of their vast experiences. Maybe 10 or even 5 years from now, I may act like that also (it depends). It’s pride. That is pride kicking in their system. Period. You may have more wisdom, but you have that pride. Pride, by the way, leads to destruction.

I also don’t like it when people brag their rags to riches story or they brag that they are poor (and “I didn’t experience to be one”). Let me tell you this: not all so called “rich kids” are boasters, egoistic, full-of-themselves. And not all so called “poor guys” are humble. Yeah right. It’s like saying, “I am tougher than you are…kid”. Yes, you may have the experience. However, experience without humility will just bring you down. Like I said, it’s pride when a person doesn’t want to make friends with someone younger than they are. Okay, maybe your reason is this: “I want to be surrounded myself with mature people”. I’ll buy that. However, what does maturity mean? I don’t know, but you call someone childish if you hate him.

Another indirect justification for that behavior is this: I want to be surrounded with people that have sense. I also buy that. However, does that mean the younger people are senseless? Does that mean majority of the Filipino population is senseless (majority of Filipinos are youth)? Come on, age freak ladies. You just don’t like younger guys making friends with you. Period. No justification. No rationalizing.

Ladies, please expand your horizon by being friends with someone younger than you. No, I don’t say to just be naïve. After all, if you say you are mature, you know how to discriminate things, right? Don’t be afraid of the risk of being disappointed with people. After all, we are not perfect. Yes, there are perks making friends with younger guys, like we don’t “grow old” or we act like boys instead of acting like men. Come on, you can’t have perfect package when it comes to friendship.

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