Saturday, September 29, 2007

Sacrifices

Mom talked to me and AC in a heart-to-heart matter. She asked both of us if we wanted to stay in the company or if we want to go to other career of our choice. She said that if we’ll move to another career, she is willing to support us (Mom always allowed us to decide for ourselves). AC answered a strong, “Yes.” According to him, he’s just having problems because he thinks that he looks an idiot. My bro’s quite a perfectionist if you’ll ask (No wonder he’s a band bassist.). As for me, I answered in a soft manner. If you are familiar with Herzberg’s two-factor theory, I’m not motivated in my work place, I am satisfied with my job.

Honestly, I’m not happy with my work. The reason why I’m keeping this job is because Mom has only 2 sons (I’m the youngest one). Many times, people around me, even in the church (be it in that old church in Caloocan City) “envy” our status, wishing that they want to have what we have. Don’t get me wrong: I’m very grateful for the blessings God have given and is giving to our family. (When I was in the old church, I have a feeling that most people just befriend me because of what I have, not because of who I am). However, life is more than possessions.

Still though, I never told Mom the truth that I’m not happy. No, it’s not because Mom will not like it. She said that she’ll support our plans in life. I didn’t tell the truth because I was a failure. Last year, I made a terrible mistake. My plan is to break up with her, but because of her manipulative way, halos napikot ako. I made a terrible mistake of loving the right kind of love to a wrong person (I heard that she has a boyfriend. I hope that she has changed. No more controlling and manipulating). Mom went to hospital because of this. AC developed an unknown allergy due to stress related to this. I was never afraid of her threats. Because of this mistake, Mom and AC were affected, negatively.

Fast forward today, the reason why I never told my Mom the truth is because I felt that I’m not credible enough to decide for our own. I addition, AC, my two uncles, two cousins will convince me to change my mind when I had it my way. Don’t get me wrong. I understand them. Besides, I don’t want the people to put the blame on me (again) if something happen to our company (“Ian didn’t help their family business, that’s why…”/“What kind of son and brother is that? Dalawa na nga lang silang magkapatid, Tatlo na nga lang silang magtutulungan, hindi pa niya ginawa”.)

Time and time again, I have sacrificed my own feeling and happiness for the sake of others. That’s why I’m hurt when I was kicked out in the old church. I sacrificed even my own opinion, my own feelings for the sake of the Youth Ministry in that old church. Just recently, there is a girl that I’m falling in love to. Because she’s not a Baptist, I have no choice. The friendship will always be there, but it doesn’t go beyond that (and it hurts). Now, I’m not happy with my work. However, because of the circumstances mentioned, I didn’t follow what I wanted. No, I was not forced by anyone to do so. I just don’t want my Mom and AC to have headaches because of another blunder (makes me hate my ex again; now, I don’t have the guts to be independent because I failed them through her).

I will leave this one open ended.

Friday, September 28, 2007

GREENS: Healthy food, Cozy Place, at a Reasonably Affordable Price.

I went again to Greens. This time, however, i brought with me my cousins PB and Erika, together with PB's wife Ivy. They enjoyed the healthy meal. By the way, it all cost PhP 685.00 (about US $15). Not bad. And this one here, there Tofu Kebab, is one of their "expensive" ones. This tastes really good (in fact, Erika took a few bites on this). This one cost around PhP 105.00 (US $2.23). Again, not bad. Like I said, the room is cozy, not fancy. When you enter into this place, mapapahiya ka lang dahil tahimik dito. Again, this is a good place. Healthy food, cozy place, nice acoustic music (I can't download it here). The owners, Mary Ann and Wally, are accomodating (keep it up!).





Where is this place? It's in Scout Castor. (Plugging ba ito? Ok lang.) Where is Scout Castor? It's in Brgy. South Triangle. You can see that street if you're walking/driving/riding (a commuter vehicle) along Tomas Morato.


Hope you enjoy the food and the place there.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

This place that I went


I went to a vegetarian restaurant named Greens. It is located right in Scout Castor. There food is quite good. The place is cozy, not fancy. I will go back to that place for their good food. What makes it even better is that it is vegetarian. No, I can't follow the vegetarian lifestyle, especially when I'm living with my Mom. However, when I had my apartment in Sta. Mesa last year, I followed that diet for the about 2 months. The result? My skin improved. My skin was fairer. My weight? Well, it’s another story.

This is the veggie wrap that I ate at Greens Restaurant. It tastes good. Too bad I didn't take a picture of the other food that I ate (Tofu Kebab. By the way, they serve kebabs in 2's, not to mention the rice). Complimented with Daladan Juice, all in all, I spent PhP 225.00. Not bad. The place, like I said, is cozy, not too fancy (I like it that way). No wonder my favorite TV hosts Sam Oh said that she eats there because of their "not-so-expensive" food. The food tastes good there. Try it. The vegetarians will not be disappointment.

The food tastes good. Expect me to go back there. In fact, as I’m typing this entry, I invited my cousin Erika that we eat there after work.

By the way, Mom reminded for overspending my credit card privileges. She said that I spend around P4, 800 in just one week! When I saw the statement of account, my August 31 credit card expenses were recorded as September (I spent around P2, 400 in that day alone. Thus, my credit card expenses were recorded as around P4, 800). Good thing that I found a way how to pay it. Again, I mismanaged my money. Again, I’ll do my best to bounce back from this and try to use my credit card wisely.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

PNU to be merged with UP? Hmmmmm...

I deleted all my posts at friendster.com. Yes I did. All journal entries will be put here. Friendster is my access to my old church friends. My Deviant Art account will focus more on my works (be it poetry and comics strip). My muultiply account? Well, it's another access to my friends, especially the people in UE.

Is it true? According to a source, the Philippine Normal University will be merged to University of the Philippines. If my source is right (IF), instead of PNU, it will become UP-College of Education. Actually, thsi news is not new to me. Last year, an accounting student from UE-Recto (an academic scholar in that University) told me that same news. Last week (September 22), another source told me (from PNU)

I didn't know the extent of this information that's why i use the word "if". If this is true, many questions, from simple to technically complex, will arise. Will the tuition fee increase dramatically because it had been merged with UP? How about those students, especially 2nd year, 3rd year, and graduate students who are not yet taking their thesis (like me, who is expecting to graduate at 2008)? In what extent will they be affected? Granting it is true, does that mean we can now put "UP" in our resume instead of "PNU" (for prestige sake, FACE IT)?

Honestly speaking, I don't know what is the rationale of all this (ayaw kong magmarunong) IF this is true. However, my opinion is this: the UP people just can't accept the reality that PNU always top the Licensure Examination for Teachers (LET), with a looping 80-something percent (though Dr. Jesus A. Ochave, VP for Planning, Research, and Extension, said he's not satisfied with it). PNU has a prestige of its own. Mapua (Engineering) has a prestige of its own. Adamson (Chemistry), DLSU (Communications related courses, and Business Courses), Ateneo and San Beda (Law), have their own specialty, why not let it stay that way?

How about a partnership instead of merging? Oh well, if this will really push through, reality bites: PNU and UP are state universities (with UP being the ultimate State U). If this pushed through in the Philippine Congress, we can't do something about.

However, may our leaders in the field of tertiary education, together with the two universities' board of regents, act wisely on this.

Okay, in the spirit of studying the issue, I'll do my best to get credible information regarding this one. I'll try to ask the PNU people and, if possible, some UP people.

If this will come true, that means I can say that I graduated in UP (har har har...they get our prestige in the field of teaching education, I'll put their prestigious name in my credentials...consider it even). If this is not true, that means I can proudly say that I graduated in Philippine Normal University (College of Graduate Studies).

"A Youngster Had His Day"

A youngster has his day,
A day in which he can have his way
Reckless as he can be,
A youngster like you and me.

He said all what he wanted to say,
Indeed, it is really his day.
When other people do what he did,
Expect some lashing for that deed.

He’s enviable because of this,
The forgivable deeds of his.
Why is this youngster,
Seems like he does not ponder?

Despite a goat in his batch,
His charm is still can not be match.
Yet a youngster that is a baron,
Other people treat him like a moron.

Sarcasm is that youngster’s word
Still, no one to him is bored.
He seems smart because of what he has.
A charm that seems believable for a lass.

He’s like James Dean,
A rebel without a cause.
This attitude he had is so mean,
Indeed, a rebel with no cause.

A youngster indeed had his day,
He always had his way.
Reckless he had been,
Yet life for him had not been mean.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Two toxic straight days

My two straight days (September 22 and 23) were marked with this distinction: driving to and fro. After office, I went to Pancake House – Congressional branch to eat my late lunch. After that, I went to the house to change my clothes. Then, I went to Kuya’s house in Pugad Lawin. It’s Ocean’s 2nd birthday. Kuya’s not around because he need to go to Makati in a specific competition. Actually, he’s just lately informed. In other words, nagkasubuan na. Biglaan. So, he requested that I accompany Sarah (his wife) and Ocean to the birthday venue somewhere in Quezon Avenue.

We went to the venue at around 6:30PM. Ocean really enjoyed it. In fact, she enjoyed it so much that she didn’t want to go home even if there are no more guests. I also enjoyed at the birthday because I have many laughs with my cousins and Sarah’s friends.

Yes, I tend to be suplado but when I laugh, I laugh a lot…and out loud. Good thing mom never reprimanded from such “unguarded moments”. I accompanied Sarah, Ocean, Manang Osang, Anna, and Maricel home. I stayed there for a while. I wanted to sleep there or stay there longer, but because I need to go to Pastor Abel Bernardo’s house at around 8AM the next day, I told Sarah that I will go home in Tandang Sora. I arrived at Tandang Sora at around 11PM.

The next day, without eating any breakfast, I went to Pastor Abel’s house near Munoz Market. Pastor Abel is with his wife Connie, their kids Dwight, Pauleen, Camille, and Keziah. In that Sunday morning, Pastor Abel had been a blessing in the new church. Like a teacher as he is, Pastor Abel motivated the church members well. In fact, they clapped their hands because of the trick that he did (although a former youth leader said that he knew how Pastor Abel did it [I don’t know if he’s unimpressed; ganun naman pag hindi active sa church, matalino pa sa speaker or he knows better]. I told him that that’s the beauty of magic trick is how the trick was done, not really the “mystery”.) God used Pastor Abel’s ability so that God’s Word will be preached.

After the blessed morning service, the new church pastor, his 2nd daughter, his right hand man, Pastor Abel, Pastor Abel’s whole family, and yours truly lunch out to Max’s – Congressional. It’s not really the food; it is the wonderful fellowship and blessings that you talk to two Pastors, and a Preacher. After that wonderful lunch, I went back home. I stayed there for only 30 minutes. Then, together with the new church, we went to a Baptist church (name undisclosed due to security reasons.) and I was chosen as a judge in their competitions. At around 5PM, I went to Pastor Abel’s house and accompanied them to the new church. Still, the evening was as blessed as the morning. The message was good, because it both encouraged the members (myself including) and reminded them of our negligence as a Baptist Christian.

The service ended at around 7:30PM. Pastor Abel, his family, and I, went to Jollibee – Cherry Foodarama to eat our dinner. (Pastor Abel has been a mentor to me. Most of my leadership style, I got from him.) By the way, both meals, lunch and dinner, were shouldered by the new church pastor and Pastor Abel respectively (that’s the reason why if these pastors requested something, I find it hard to resist. These pastors are generous and selfless.)

I arrived home at around 11PM. When I arrived home, all I want to do are two things: lie down and sleep. It may be tiring two days, but the fact that the reason behind it is because I helped those people that matter to me most and vice versa: my family and a caring mentor. It is natural for me to give time and energy to people who care for me. Especially at this point of time, especially after that part of my life called “temporary kick out” happened to me, I began to spend my energy more into my family and caring mentors (like Pastor Abel and Pastor James). I began to see fallen brethren in a better, more Christ-like manner.

It is tiring two days, but I don’t care: I learned, I helped other people, I was blessed.

Random Note: If ever I’ll name my comic company (if GradS Tayo will be regularly out as an indie), I’ll name it “Kickout” and I’ll have a shoe shape logo. No, it’s not to hit the old church, but I’ll put that failure in my life as a stepping stone for improvement. J

Friday, September 21, 2007

Whew...

I want to take away my friendster blog. Besides, I'm not posting in that blog from a long time. The last time that I posted there is when I stated bluntly the reason why I'm not yet allowed to go back to the old church. I posted that it is not pride, but because I'm not allowed to go there yet. Yes, I admit that I really intended to post that so that the old church can read my side (note: not to justify, but state my side of the story…because it’s been a long time that they’ve been fed with information coming from the leaders there…and even the girl…I didn’t say that all of the information are wrong. It’s just they didn’t hear from me). I have proven this: only few old church youngsters will dare to talk to me and asked what really happened. Well, there are factors involved: 1) some are afraid that they’ll be reprimanded by their ates, kuyas, leaders, etc. 2) some just don’t like me, 3) some don’t know how, when, and where to start, 4) some just don’t care , 5) some wanted the church to move forward (whichis good). Besides, most of the old church people (especially the youngsters) usually don't care on blogs. All they want to see are pictures…pictures…and more pictures (Aminin natin. Kaya naman tayo nag-friendster para makakita ng litrato ‘di ba? Kung sabagay, ganun ang purpose ng friendster. It’s not mainly for blogs…it’s more of pictures and messages)

Let's admit it: most friendster users don't read friendster blogs. In fact, one of the people I know even said, “Puro bola naman ang mga blogs eh”. (All blog entries are lies).

Most of my friends in friendster are from the old church. Yes, maybe most of them are not reading my blog, but it is better than that. I don’t want to be accused of being a rebel. Why am I saying this stuff anyway IF I’m not rebel? Well, it’s because blogs are diaries.

By the way…

My mom saw my ex working at Trinoma (North Edsa, QC). At first, she thought I didn’t know, that’s why she didn’t tell a thing to me. She didn’t know that I’ve known this fact about a month ago (or two). When I found out that she saw my ex, she’s quite shock. She wanted to reprimand the person who told me the info, but I told her that I’ve known that fact for quite some time (about a month or two). My mom doesn’t want me to see my ex; she’s afraid that it will rekindle my love for her. I can’t blame her. Back then, I strongly told my mom that I’ll break her up (I mean it. I have told many, many times the reason why I wanted to get out), only to tell her through phone, “I’ll marry her”. (I told this because I admit, I’m afraid of excommunication, which eventually happened to me). I told mom, “If ever I wanted to go to her place of work, I should have done that. Still though, I can’t blame my Mom.

Don’t get me wrong. This is not your typical soap opera in which moms are villains (not all are like that). The reason why Mom doesn’t like my ex is because of one thing: she’s a manipulative person. Plus, she’s a liar. In fact, my ex almost caused friction between Mom and Mom’s cousin (my uncle). She even told the old church people that we’re living in (not true). If ever I see her, I’ll just stare at her. If ever I’ll talk to her, it is to confront. Oh well, even that is no use (because it’s hard to confront a manipulative liar).

Whew! This is the beauty of the blog that is away from those people…I can be me.

Still though, I hope and pray that things will be alright. That my ex will realize that the burden is no longer mine, but her. Yes, I had my mistakes (fornication, nagkakasakitan kami physically [this one, time and time again, is not SOLELY my fault. She’s always starting an argument. Like I said many times, if you ignore her, she’ll use the CHURCH crowd in order to catch attention ]. She’s saying to my Dad that she moved on, but her actions say otherwise. She doesn’t want me back in the old church. She is not ready to forgive me yet (as if it’s my fault [no one with me…ako lang] and she has no contributions in this mess). Because of this, the old church decided not for me to go back YET. Because of this, I told them, “The burden of guilt is no longer mine, but hers. She’s the one who’s causing the delay (right from the start) in all of this, not me. Right from the start, I really wanted to publicly apologize.” With this note, I stood by those last words. I don’t see anything wrong with what I have said. From that point forward, every time I’m asked or this thing is opened, I usually say those last lines.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

hey there...people

hey there, fellow bloggers...actually i have a friendster and a multiply blog and a D.A. journal. However, it never hurts to create a blog in which I can really, really, shooooouuuut!!! My friendster account is more on my friends in the old church. There are things that I don't want the old church people to read from me. Besides, they might misquote me. My Multiply account is for people at my mountaineer buddies. My D.A. is, yes, more into the arts I'm into.