Friday, November 23, 2007

Learnings

My Komikon experience helped me open my mind more into the world of art. Another thing is that the event motivated me to improve my art and the medium that I’m using. I have to admit that the improvement will be very gradual unlike my more artistic, adept, experienced, and equipped counterparts because I’m not into on a full time basis. I still have my day job (the partial reason why I can gather the resources immediately) and I still have a bunch of youngsters to lead. Even if there will come a time that I’ll improve, I’ll still consider this as a hobby. Simultaneously, I’m on my way on improving my poetry. I plan to put at least one poetry per work.

By the way, I went to two stores that sell all sorts of paper to ask for their thinnest glossy photo paper. I’m planning my next issue to have a glossy paper for a cover. Well, I do admit, because of the cost of that paper, the next issue will be at the maximum P50. Because of that increase, I’ll do my best not to shortchange the buyer. Yes, there will always be someone far better than I am (I just took this seriously December 2005), but it is not an excuse. I should still do my best to improve. I always say to my friends, “there are people who can discern if you’ve given your best into something.” As a youth leader, I can quite discern if a youngster did his/her best into something that I delegated to him/her. For now, I’ll take it one step at a time. I have so many things to do for the last month of the year. It also includes my day job.

Random thought: As part of my effort to improve my craft, I’ve downloaded drawings of girls wearing jeans. I really need to practice drawing women and their hour glass figures. It is part of my effort to make the art better. Art, when put into business, is a service oriented business.

Another random thought: A youngster, who is my former member in the old church, encouraged me to go back to the old church. I told her briefly the reason why I can’t go back yet (which I have also told in this site and in deviantart.com). She understood me. She told me that she knew how it felt to be misunderstood. She also said that it is really sad that my side was not heard by most people. Anyways, I told her that because of what had happened, I leave everything to God. It’s up to God when I’ll be back. I’ll no longer make any effort (unless when contacted by the old church authorities and unless the girl finally forgave me). After all, the old church Pastor told me that I should stay put for the meantime in this new church because it is not yet time.

No, this is not pride. Pride is not admitting your mistakes and not making any effort to correct them. I did both. This is what you call yielding. I yield. Like I said, it’s up to God if I can finally go back to the old church. However, even though it seems impossible, I’m praying that the girl finally forgave me and that the old church folks will know the real reason why I’m not yet back.

I gave text messages to the old church pastor (maybe my final plea). In an honest, yet respectful manner, I told him that my communication line is always open. I also told him that the reason for my silence is because I have left everything to God and I have left the decision to the church under his leadership. I do admit that I’m trying to imply that I made an effort to fix this matter. I also told the old church pastor that the reason I gave him a text message like that is because there are some old church members (when they happen to see me) who frequently ask me questions similar to this: “we are waiting for you, why are you not coming back?” (As if I don’t like to come back). For now, that’s all I can say to the old church pastor. Honestly, I get easily tired when this is being talked about. I know that the old church pastor wanted me to go back, but he knows that it’s not easy as it looks (that’s why he decided that I should stay put). There are many factors to consider. Like I said, I leave this matter to God.

One More Random Thought: Because of the preparations for both YPF day and Komikon 2007, I didn’t visit the gym for about 3 weeks. I’ll try to make a 2 hour visit tonight, after work, after I went to the mall to buy some stuff.

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