Note: I wrote this yesterday, i posted it today...
For the 2nd time, I failed the comprehensive exam. Actually, the exam into 4 categories namely: Philosophy, Statistics, Research, and Specialization. I passed all of them. However, I have a “Low Pass” mark in Specialization, which is considered a failure. Thus, I retook the exam, but only the Specialization part. After I waited for about an hour yesterday (June 15), the result was given to me. Again, it is a “Low Pass”. Honestly, I really did my best this time around. I read and re-read all, even to the point of memorizing it. I only didn’t study the Curriculum Development part of the Specialization. Again, it is a “Low Pass”. The policy of the University is that after you failed the Comprehensive exam twice, you’ll re-enroll what you failed. In my case, there are 6 subjects under the Specialization category. According to my Department chairman, he’ll still assess what in those 6 subjects that I really fail.
However, there is another option. I can just finish it under the Master in Education program. What is this? This is also considered a Master’s degree, but this credential will not be considered if I will plan to take up PhD in THAT UNIVERSITY. In other words, if I’ll take this option, I will be graduating with the degree of Master in Education (ME), but I’ll not be allowed to get my PhD there. Reading these lines carefully, I can take my PhD in other universities, which according to my department chairman, is “substandard”. There are good universities, however, that will allow me to take my PhD. Still though, in those Universities, I need to have certain units (sort of a “pre-PhD courses”). Judging with the situations, I’m not failure. I have many options. Honestly, I don’t to re-enroll. I’ve in that University since 2003. The University has a policy in a graduate student’s stay (maximum of 5 years). Next year will be 2008. In other words, this is quite risky. For me, it’s not worth the risk. However, with this ME program, it’s not over yet. If I finish this one, I’ll still graduate with a degree. Then, after this, I can put this credential to take further studies, like Law or a graduate studies in Math, after this. Honestly, taking a PhD is not a passion; it is just an option. Taking up courses like Law or Math is the thing in my mind (if I’ll be allowed to study again).
I told my Department Chairman to think this over first. I added that I needed to tell this Mom because I wanted a better view on this (like a family decision). I told him that I’m no longer teaching. Because of that, he just advised to take these two options, because it will be a waste if I don’t take either of the two.
Does this mean I’ll be discouraged to continue the comics called “GradS Tayo” because I’m no longer part of the “Thesis program”? No. After all, I’ll still graduate with a graduate degree.
This so-called failure is quite sad on my part. I did my best. I studied for that test. I believe this is the will of God. I don’t know yet what is the deeper message of this. However, I know that after I heard my result, my worries are gone. I know that this is a distraction. Distraction because this coming November 4, the new church’s youth ministry will have their first YPF day. This is a form of distraction for me to be discouraged because the “enemy” knows that I’m the head organizer of YPF day. I also know that graduating in a thesis program is no longer that significant to me because I’m no longer teaching, and God knows that I don’t see myself being a Principal, school administrator, etc.
Speaking of YPF day, indeed, I should pray that God will take care of this youth event in our church. This shows that the “enemy” is working double time to scrap this event. There is another “distraction” that happened to me yesterday aside from the test result. I promise to post this the next time. Please remind me if I forgot ok?