Saturday, October 27, 2007

a classmate's wedding, amie, and hard feelings

I attended a classmate’s wedding last night (October 26, 2007). Before I attended, I went to SM – North Edsa to buy a gift to be given to the bride and groom. I arrived in the reception at around 6:30PM. Oh well, in our batch (batch ’97), 3 of them have already settled down (although one is not officially, but he promised to get married as soon as possible). Before these wedding bells, many think that I’ll be the first one to get married because of my so-called “playboy image” and so-called “financial status”. Because of the ban, I didn’t go to the old church. I went straight to the reception area.

I still remember how my former youth director told that in order to erase my “playboy/chick-boy/heart breaker image”, I must marry my then-girlfriend. Even until now, I disagree with that. You marry the person because of love, not because the girl got pregnant, or in order to erase your negative image. It’s like a “closet queen” marrying a woman (even the prettiest girl in town), just to cover their being gay.

Anyways, before I enter the reception area, I pray to God to give me courage to face this people without looking guilty. Don’t get me wrong. I admit what I did was wrong, but that was the past and God knows (I didn’t use His name in vain) that I did my best to settle things up in the old church. Ok, back in the topic. I want to walk with poise. Thus, the good part came. The old church people had been decent enough to talk to me. Praise God! In fact, one of them said, “The case is no longer a hot issue in the church”. Praise God if the issue died a natural death. It should be. In fact, it should have died earlier. If we are telling that we are Christians, we should try our best to kill the unnecessary issues, BUT both sides should be heard FIRST before you let the issue die a natural death.

I didn’t finish the program. I went out at around 7:30PM. Still though, my former classmate, his now-wife (who was stunning), the groom’s father (whom I know since I was a kid) and the bride’s father appreciated. I thought otherwise. They appreciated that I dropped by even with my schedule.

About me and Amie…

The at the upper right hand? That is me and sweet girl Amie...

I went to SM-Manila to see sweet girl Amie. Actually, I waited for 1 hour. That made me angry. Because of that, she walked out. I tried my best to convince her not to walk out from me. She walked out twice actually. There goes my short temper again. We wasted an hour or two just because I ruined the day. Still though, the day went on good. We apologized to each other.

Then, we started to talk about each other. I told her that Mom likes her for me, but Mom knows that we can’t be more than friends. I told her that I’m happy if I see her smile. It completes my day when I see her and I hear her husky voice. It is inevitable; I love Amie. Even a poet/friend notices a sort of a “glow” in my face that I can’t hide. My uncle, my cousins, and even AC, like her for me.

Still though, we can’t be more than friends. Mom understood. By the way, prior to our seeing each other, we didn’t talk to each other for about 3 weeks. She understood my Biblical stand on the matter. I told her that the reason why I decided what I decided is…because I LOVE HER…and the feeling is mutual; that’s why she understood me for who I am and what I stand for. Still though, she told me that despite of that, she told me that I’ll always be her closed friend. I told her that she’ll always be my special friend. I can’t help but cry. She’s one of the nicest girls that I met (if not THE nicest girl).

I hope and I pray that she’ll accept the Lord Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. I hope that she experiences the true born-again experience. No, not because I love her (though it’s one of them), but because I want those close to me to be saved also.

I hope and I pray that if ever she’ll have a kind, yet strong boyfriend. She deserves it. She’s a likeable person. She’s nice and sweet. She’s a supportive lady. It will break my heart if she’ll end up with a mean and nasty and unfaithful man.

I thanked God because both of us understood each other without sacrificing friendship.

No hard feelings…

My hard feelings to the old church are gone by the grace of God. Now, I fully understand them. Why I said this? I just found out that the reason why most girls from the old church don’t like to talk to me is because my ex-girlfriend didn’t only hide the truth, she also denied what is true. In addition, she talked her way to the girls. It’s no wonder guys didn’t have any idea. She talked to church single ladies the lies. Yes, the lies. She hid the truth from them. She denied almost everything. She made me and my family seemed bad to the church girls. Not only that, she diverted the issue from her. For example, she said that I pointed a knife to her. This is very wrong. She’s the one who pointed the knife to me. Are you getting the picture?

Because of what I have found out, I began to understand the old church people more. Okay, let’s face the fact: there are rumor mongers (that’s their weakness), but rumor mongers will not be rumor mongers if someone didn’t start it. It has a source. It’s my ex-girlfriend. The reason why even until now, I can’t go back to the old church even if I’m itching to settle things.

Thus, I understood them more now. I just hope and pray that someday, I’ll be given a chance to tell my side to the old church people.

This is another thorn that was pulled from and I’m happy and thankful to God for this.

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